Preheat and prep: Heat your oven to 375°F (190°C).
Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.
Brown the beef: In a large skillet over medium-high heat, warm a little olive oil. Add ground beef, breaking it up as it cooks. Season with salt and pepper.
Cook until browned and most liquid has evaporated, about 7–9 minutes.
Add aromatics: Stir in chopped onion and minced garlic. Cook 3–4 more minutes until the onion softens and the beef is nicely browned.
Flavor boost: Mix in 1 tablespoon mustard, 2 tablespoons sugar-free ketchup, 1 teaspoon Worcestershire, and 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika. Stir for 1 minute to marry the flavors.
Make it creamy: Turn heat to low.
Add 4 ounces of cream cheese, cubed. Stir until melted and evenly combined with the beef mixture.
Layer in the dish: Spread the beef mixture evenly in your baking dish. Scatter a handful of chopped dill pickles over the top.
If using tomatoes, sprinkle a small amount, making sure they’re well-drained.
Whisk the custard: In a bowl, whisk 4 large eggs with 1/2 cup heavy cream, a pinch of salt, and pepper. Pour evenly over the beef layer.
Add the cheese: Top with 1 1/2 to 2 cups shredded cheddar, depending on how cheesy you like it.
Bake: Place in the oven and bake 18–22 minutes, until the edges are bubbly and the center is just set. The cheese should be melted and golden in spots.
Rest and serve: Let it rest 5–10 minutes before slicing.
Garnish with green onions or bacon crumbles. Serve with a drizzle of extra mustard or sugar-free ketchup, and a side salad or shredded lettuce if you like that “burger” feel.