Preheat and prep: Heat your oven to 350°F (175°C).
Line a sheet pan with parchment or foil for easy cleanup. You can also use a loaf pan, but a sheet pan allows for better browning.
Crisp the bacon: In a skillet over medium heat, cook the chopped bacon until just starting to crisp. Remove and cool slightly.
Leave a little bacon fat for flavor if you like.
Sauté aromatics (optional): If using onion, sauté it in the bacon fat for 2–3 minutes until translucent. Add garlic and cook 30 seconds. Let cool so it doesn’t scramble the eggs.
Mix the wet ingredients: In a large bowl, whisk eggs, heavy cream (or almond milk), ranch seasoning, smoked paprika, salt, and pepper.
Add binders and flavor: Stir in almond flour, Parmesan, parsley or chives, the cooked bacon, and the cooled onion-garlic mixture.
Add the beef: Gently mix in the ground beef with your hands or a spatula until just combined. Do not overmix or the meatloaf will be dense.
Shape the loaf: Transfer the mixture to your sheet pan and shape into a compact loaf about 9 inches long and 2–3 inches high.
If using extra bacon slices on top, lay them across the loaf slightly overlapping.
Bake: Bake for 45–60 minutes, depending on thickness. Cook to an internal temperature of 160°F (71°C).
Rest: Let the meatloaf rest 10–15 minutes before slicing. This keeps the juices in and helps clean slices.
Prep sides: While it bakes or rests, cook your chosen sides. Simple roasted broccoli tossed with olive oil, salt, and pepper at 425°F for 15–20 minutes pairs perfectly.
Slice and portion: Cut into 8 slices for meal prep.
Pair each portion with a low-carb side and a small ramekin of ranch or sugar-free ketchup if desired.