Preheat and prep: Heat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.

Cook the bacon: In a large skillet, cook bacon until crisp. Remove to a paper towel–lined plate and crumble when cool. Reserve 1–2 tablespoons of bacon fat in the pan.

Sauté aromatics: Add diced onion to the skillet and cook until soft, 3–4 minutes. Stir in minced garlic for 30 seconds. If skipping fresh onion/garlic, move to the next step and season the beef with powders later.

Brown the beef: Add ground beef to the skillet. Season with salt, pepper, smoked paprika, and optional onion/garlic powder. Cook until browned, breaking it up as it cooks. Drain excess grease if needed, leaving a little for flavor.

Flavor the meat: Stir in mustard, Worcestershire, and sugar-free ketchup. Taste and adjust salt and pepper. You want it a touch bold so it shines through the custard and cheese.

Make the creamy base: In a bowl, whisk eggs, heavy cream, and softened cream cheese until mostly smooth. Small cream cheese specks are fine; they’ll melt in the oven. Season with a pinch of salt and pepper.

Assemble: Spread the beef mixture evenly in the baking dish. Sprinkle half the shredded cheddar over the meat. Pour the egg-cream mixture over the top, tilting the dish for even coverage. Finish with the remaining cheddar and the crumbled bacon.

Bake: Place on the center rack and bake for 20–25 minutes, until the edges are set and the center is just slightly jiggly. If you like a browned top, broil for 1–2 minutes at the end.

Rest and garnish: Let it rest 10 minutes so it slices cleanly. Top with chopped dill pickles and a drizzle of mustard or sugar-free ketchup if you like. Add a few tomato pieces for a classic burger feel, if they fit your carbs.

Serve: Slice into squares and serve with a simple side salad or roasted low-carb veggies.